Hole and The Holes

November 15, 2014

There's a hole deep down inside of me

That difficult to be filled

No matter how hard I try

Self medicating only makes the bottom deeper

This hole is much like a black hole

It will suck everything good that seems to come close inside

to never be seen again

There is a hole within me,

one I wanna fill

I felt it rip me open one day

and it hasn't left me still

It refuses objects, people and substances.

Nothing seems to fit just right,

no matter what I offer it

It's as if it's a black hole and carrying

these things away

instead of building up my offerings to fill

There are holes I wanna fill now ...

Sebenarnya tak cuma satu

Tapi ternyata ada banyak lubang dalam diriku

Tentang sholat yang kadang tak tepat waktu

Tentang sunnah yang dianggap tak perlu

Tentang tadarus yang mungkin lidah ini telah kelu

Tentang lapak yang penuh debu

Tentang blogwalking yang menunggu

Tentang ide yang selalu buntu

Atau tentang kamu ...

Tentang jalanku dan jalanmu yang tak pernah ada titik temu

Then I'm afraid,

Afraid I can't explain myself well

From the hole in my life

From which the words fell

So I write them all down

Every smile to every frown

For when I try to speak

I barely make a sound.

(Rawa Bokor, Nov 15th 2014)

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